Ode to the Refractory Period

Get up, I say, it's time to get to work

But you are both exhausted and a jerk

You lie there, as if you laboured so hard

And frankly, you've been given your reward

I doth protest, come on, we're needed here

There's other things I can do, that is clear

I've other tools at my disposal, true

But I could always use some help from you

It's been fifteen minutes at this point, now

"You lazy dick," I curse; you say "and how"

You're making me look bad, I hope you know

And so I must explain, with words I show:

"My dear, it's science, elementary

You see, this period's refractory."

Tickets go on sale on Friday

And I am going as far away as I can

To a place where no one knows me

And so I can shout in the middle of the street

In the middle of the night

In the middle of the day, even

Fuck it, let's day shout

I'll say to myself

I will shout to myself

And someone will likely shout back 

So I will put my headphones in and walk away briskly

I will buy shoes

Because I'm always wearing right through them

And it's okay until there's a wet day

And then I don't walk, I just goosh

Just straight gooshin', here

What kind of shoes does a thirty year old man buy?

Is there something fancier than velcro?

I will take three, please

I am going to know all of the words to all of the songs

And I might need to run into the bathroom at some point

Because I will be hyperventilating or having a panic attack

What do you do when your short-sighted goals are accomplished

And you realize that in the morning you are going to have to face reality

A more-or-less unchanged person than you were when you set that goal?

And I will come back hoarse and tired

Maybe even a little hung over

But likely just tired

And sit on the edge of my bed

Let's say you really wanted ice cream

Like, ice cream was the only thing you wanted

Chocolate ice cream, let's be serious here

No one ever say that all they want is vanilla

You're not allowed to have chocolate ice cream

You could try to get chocolate ice cream

I mean, there's that corner store

It isn't that far from where you are

But that corner store has a really high robbery rate

Some guy got killed there a little while back

So if you try to get chocolate ice cream from that store

There's a high chance that you'll be maimed or killed

At the very least, there might not even be any there

And then you'll have nothing anyway

But, man oh man, do you want that chocolate ice cream

So you wait, hoping that maybe someone will bring you some

I imagine you're aware of how likely that is

But what other recourse do you have

I guess what I'm saying is that I miss my ex-girlfriend

But chocolate ice cream has its own life that it needs to live

the last box of my ex-girlfriend's stuff

the only box

some tights and socks and a toothbrush

a towel that she used to refluff all of her stuff

before moving those clothes to her new place

and it really shouldn't bother me

because it's not like this was ever her place

and now i've got an extra drawer's worth of space

and it only bothers me enough that i have to think about it

and it was never really seven years

and if i focus on this then i'll get sad

which is dumb

but here we are, so i guess i'll just learn

how to do a backflip instead of acknowledging my feelings

Tweets from the bus

"Let's get this terrible party started"

Plays just as the last bus pulls up

That's funny

Eight guys, two girls

One trans?  Drag queen?  Does it especially matter?

Oh, I suppose not

There goes one of the girls, off the bus

Bar was nice

Caddyshack was on

Sknny brian doyle murray is weird to see

The other girl got off the bus at the graveyard

Maybe she works at lu radio

I mean, lu radio is right there

No, she is going into the graveyard

Her head keeps swivelling so that her gaze meets mine

Which is strange, because there are several buildings separating our hypothetical gazes

But I can still feel it, and feelings never lie

Also, heads shouldn't swivel quite that far

Oh, she says to come and bring blood

Sorry, typo: beer

She says that she said beer, not blood

I heard blood, but whatever

Weird that I heard it in my fillings

Going to the graveyard to graveyard fuck, I guess

Will send the deets later

Is this thing even

Being renewed? Good question

Fucked if I know, guy

There's only so much

You can drown your sorrows, guy

Until it drowns more

I broke the first rule

No haikus ever, the name

The name meansnothing 

If you just add "guy"

To round out your haikus, guy

You're not okay, guy

Guy guy guy guy guy

Guy guy guy guy guy guy sob

 I'm so lonely, guy

Burn what doesn't work

Keep the rest

But the rest is comfortable

And I get what is to be expected of me fro that rest

The rest is comfortable

See what I did there?

Where do you start to make change?

Is it small?

Make a mountain out of a moleman?

It takes a lot of molemen

Maybe I have too much comfort

And that leads to this paralysis

Like that guy from The Tick that sat in the world's confiest chair

Until he was old and grey and all the bald

"Watch out for sweeping changes" the road sign warns

"Lest you be swept off the road"

"Sorry that there's so much writing on this sign, but we feel that literacy is important"

"Watch out for that chair, though, really"

If there's a wagon

A productivity wagon 

Or a hey-how-about-not-being-crazy-'n-shit wagon

Then I think I'm teeterig on the edge right now

And if I could fall off of it right now

That's be a real feather in my cap

Because then I'd have an excuse for

Y'know

All this being crazy

39 ways to kill a man

feed him to sharks

feed him to birds (small)

feed him to birds (larger)

feed him to birds (larger still)

smother him with a pillow

leave him for a worse man (kill him emotionally)

take away his oxygen supply

drop him, as if from a great height

death by chocolate

a knife

too much daytime tv

ground up glass in his spaghetti, i think

too much spaghetti

a meatball the size of however big his throat is

neglegence

acid, so much acid, more acid then you think you'll need

drop things on him, as if from a great height

nerf duel gone wild

that thing where you hit someone's nose into their brain

bullets, i guess

karate kid crane kick of death

try to save him, really try

face melting guitar solo

teleport only his skin two feet to the left

breakdance (a dance where you break him in half)

kill his dreams
kill him IN his dreams

put a snake in his hat

anthrax on his public enemy cds

oh, poison.  duh-doi.

be really fucking passive aggressive, marlene

cia sniper

push him into a giant's mouth

don't listen to the safe word

Block + UP UP (sweep distance)

introduce him to some fuckin' steel, son

find out what his kryptonite is

invite him to the home alone death house

like, racism

i looked at my ideas notepad file and these came up

the terrible curse

the good waffles

the holy rollers

ayn rand school for tots

pick a bar

dental plan

it took me a good dozen seconds to realize that they're team names

for simpsons trivia night

i guess we were both tricked

lisa needs braces

kilroys had police trainer

the study had alpha 3

the outpost had sf vs x-men

711 had mk II, 17 cheated wins, kombat champion

things for nervous fingers

now everyhwere has buttons to touch

distract them fingers

touch screen, pretended productivity

#

you only understand obvious notions, like yesterday's lives' inherent viciousness.

everyone overemphasizes nature's cruel evolution.

yes, once ultimō's over, never lasts, yet lives inherit vast expanses of nuances.

create euphoria yourself?

only, understand: once nobody likes you, living is very efficient.

ostracize now, care eventually.