menstruation, more like peoplestruation

did narcissus ever call out his own name when he masturbated?

so my dog got worms and died, and now worms got my dog

have you ever run in to a panini place and shouted "stop the presses"?

these are the jokes, i scream into the mirror, crying

these. are. the jokes.

Tried to go to the ol' campus bar

It's the worst bar, yar, worst bar by far

Dudes with drinks hogging up the line

Your too tall

Your too fine

I used that spelling purpose, too seem

Like I was younger, a real teen scream

Songs as old as your blankie get a pop

It's a gosh darn meat market douchestorm bop

Spotlights and guards

Is this a bar or a prison

That... Actually, wow

It's kind of terrifying

It's really scary

I'm not even being poetic

And it's not like the blade rave

That wasn't able to take it far enough

Because, for some reason, the vampires only brought one douchey human

Cheryl, it's your job to bring the human this fortnight

It's a real blood orgy

No really

I'm watching a blood orgy

And it's exactly what you think it is

Why won't I look away

Why don't I make that choice

Why can't I

What happens to the bodies

Oh christ

What do they do with them

Is this why i don't recognize any of the faces

Is this why I never did

Are they all dead now

Why do they writhe

WHY DO THEY WRITHE

But maybe that's why I never got laid in college

Thanks, Chrome.  Thanks for giving my spirit license to sing.

There's a bear in the wall
Not so much in between the walls
Between two
And it's not especially in the fabric of the wall
What is it, stucco?
What do you make walls out of?
Bears?

How do i know that it's not several bears?
That the wall isn't a cleverly disguised cave?
I don't, i suppose.
I don't even know that the bear is really in the wall.

But I do.
It's a bear hunch.
Bear with me.
I can't bear to bear bear bear

Are you not listening to me there is a fucking bear in the wall
Why are you still reading this there is a bear in the wall
You are super close to the wall
Get out of the house
The bear is coming from inside
The wall

It's too cold to drink outside

So I guess I'll drink inside

Well, this evening has certainly been a disappointment

We went to see the newest super hero movie

And the credits rolled

People started to file out

They're not real fans,

My daughter said to me

They don't know to stay until after the credits for the bonus scene

Shut up, you're ten, you don't know a thing about Iron Man

You are far too young to be an entitled nerd

It's a good thing that other people are enjoying the things that you enjoy

Even if "you liked them first"

But what I said was

I know

So maybe I'm teaching her the wrong lessons

Do you have a cigarette,

He said

And a lighter?

He added

Immediately dropping the cigarette on the ground

And picking it back up

Thanks, man, sorry for

And he dropped it again

And again he picked it up

And put it back into his mouth

And introduced himself

You're Kyle?  Whoa, I'm Kyle, too

But he wasn't Kyle

He was the guy that dropped a cigarette onto the ground

Where countless people had spit and vomitted

And he would be that to me

Forever

This guy is getting published in Definitely Superior Art Gallery's upcoming die Active zine, but I wanted to share it with the whole wide world, too.  Click for bigness, and let me tell you how I really feel.

I dreamed of you last night, you know.

When I woke up, I was sweating.

I wonder if that flatters you.

I saw you, in the dream, but I don't think you noticed me.

You were paying attention to the rest of the people there.

There was a whole crowd.

A crowd of people more interesting and fascinating and whatever else than me.

Better choices than me.

I stared at you.

I hoped and prayed.

And then you turned your head.

An almost inperceptible turn, so slight.

And you saw me.

You saw me for everything that I am, and could be, and want to be.

Would ever want to be.

And then in an instant you were upon me, ripping through all the layers.

Do you like me Freddy Kreuger?

Yes No

Circle One

I Googled "suicide boys" to see what would come up

And I didn't find a single tattooed wiener

Outrage

But I don't have any tattoos on my wiener

So at least I'm not being excluded from being a piece of sassy meat

Baby, it's cold outside.

I know you've got things to do,

But it's late, the stores are closed, anyway.

And I think you're underestimating just how low the temperature is.

Your mother will worry?

Are we in an age where you can't contact her?

How fucking old are you, anyway?  I think your mom'll be fine.

It's super cold.  I just stepped out for a minute, feel my hands.

I know, right?

No, I'm not trying to get you drunk.

Okay, maybe a little drunk.

It's not like I'm trying to make you be physically unable to drive yourself home.

Are you even listening to yourself right now?

Are you listening to me tell you how very cold it is outside?

Again with your family?  Really?

Send your sister a text.

Really, I'm not sure that your car will even start.

No, you shouldn't walk, and no, you cannot take my coat.

Do you want to go out there and die in these arctic temperatures?

Is that what you want?

You're being a real baby about this, you know.