and that’s a huge bummer

was it kinda nice to see me smile?

throw my better self overboard

shoot at him when he comes up for air

oh let me tell you about my operation

let's go on a crime spree together

let me tell you what a fool I've been

the last of the assholes

you're like an ikea hot dog, i can't resist you

should I'd have stayed at home indoors?

i think i can, i think i can, i think i can, i think i can

things will get better once we leave the winter far behind

I finally got to go to a show

This week has been absurd

I don't know the band, I'm not a metal fan

But it's loud enough that I don't have to talk much

So that's pretty great

This week, you guys

I need the next week to sleep

Get into my cocoon

Maybe grow wings, shed skins, etc.

I can't stay asleep without feeling guilty

And having dreams that make me feel dumb

And I can't stay in bed without rolling myself into a hug machine-type position

And I keep meaning to look up if that's a thing or a coping mechanism or why I keep doing it

Welcome to no haikus ever, which I only ever write in when I've had a few

Life is acceptably good

Because let's not be greedy

Let's not be greedy and a jerk

Pick one

Pick being a jerk, if you're already very skilled at being a jerk

Fifteen dollar cover?

I could have had pizza

I AM a jerk!

A parking lot on Redwood where there is now a large modern church, too drunk, breath hot and terrible

I don't remember, but I remember you called me a dreamboat at the show

The front steps of FWCI, because you said you wanted to

Kristin's couch, because I wanted to

And again I don't remember, but I remember cucumber and balsamic vinegar

Red paint peeling off of the walls of your room like latex and singing that Sublime song too much

Everything but kissing you while not watching Pan's Labyrinth, and that strawberry top, and never ever fighting

I remember you sharing the book you were writing on a google doc and an insistence on gum to kill the smell of cigarettes

Under the streetlight by the record shop, and seeing you all the time despite never seeing you ever before we met

And too fast after the haunted house, because I thought that I had to, because that's how these things work

Though let's be fair, look at all this, I'm still working on figuring out how things work

For sale: Robin costume, never worn.

it's not you, it's me

it's a little you, but it's mostly me

look, it's us, it's this whole thing of you and me at the same time

at some point we're going to let you know that it's pretty much you

but we're trying to be nice about it for now

because we know how fragile you are

and that you are afraid that you're going to be alone

and that you hate it because you're afraid

so you get cynical and pissy

like, all the time

but it's me

really, bud

all the funny white guys wear cardigans

and roll their sleeves up

and have that high on the sides haircut

and beards

and oh no i do too

i thought i was a snowflake

people why didn't you tell me

why didn't you tell me that i'm not a snowflake

and that i'm just another funny white guy

shit people i thought you had my back

shiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiit

fuck

fuck people

what do i do

i am freaking out here

Is it weird that she smelled like cherry pop-tarts?

Is it weird that that's the thing that stuck with me?

Is it weird that I would rather have that scent overwhelm just the one sense,

Scents scense, 'til I'm scentsless

Than just eat a goddamned pop-tart?

Smell is to wanting as taste is to having

I suppose it is.

Weird, that is.

Well, rats.