sometimes being a parent
means having to watch television programs
that you wouldn't normally watch
it's like being in a relationship, in that way
it reminds you that, hey, you're an individual
and you simply don't have the taste for certain entertainment

so i'm watching this show
victorious
about a bunch of kids that go to a performing arts high school
and i just want to smash the tv
it's the worst
seriously, go watch it
feel my rage

all of these people are so terrible
let's go through the cast
one of the kids is a ventriloquist
that is not a good running gag
and there's a bad boy with a heart of gold
and don't forget the token black kid
and the bitch character
i mean, everyone keeps calling her a gank
but when they say "gank", they mean "oh god you're such a bitch just fucking die"
the dumb one is dumb, we get it, let's move on
and the main girl
hooray, free spirit
you can tell she's a free spirit because she wears hightops

i need to change the channel or turn the tv off
before i throw my daughter out of the house
or feed her to a wolf

we build a lexicon
based on inside jokes, turns of phrase
shared memories
that we see from the same point of view
words that only mean something to us
because to hell with the rest of the world
and i love every single part of it
it's my favourite dictionary
aside from the one
with all the dirty words in it